Who left you hanging on that peg all alone?   You look near mint to me babe and I wanna make you my own   I wanna be your captain, my Pon Farr is a-risin'   So step on over here girl, my love is enterprisin'      Let me be your conventional lover   Let me show you some conventional love   I don't mean to boast, I don't mean to brag (ooh love long and prosper)   But I'm a man whose only issues all come in mylar bags      Let me be your conventional lover   Let me give you my conventional love   I'll give you my heart, I'll treat you nice (ooh love long and prosper)   And the games that I play only have twenty-sided dice      They're polyhedral!      Let's hit the dealer's room and get you something fine   That collectors bust of Cthulhu reminds me of how you blow my mind   Now let me take you dancing in my best Starfleet dress uniform   You'll want to tap my mana once you've seen me perform      Let me be your conventional lover   Let me show you some conventional love   I don't mean to boast, I don't mean to brag (ooh love long and prosper)   But I'm a man whose only issues all come in mylar bags      Let me be your conventional lover   Let me give you my conventional love   I'll give you my heart, I'll treat you nice (ooh love long and prosper)   And the games that I play only have twenty-sided dice      Uh oh   Saving throw!      And when we get to mating, I'll always treat you kind   I'll never bend you too far back or ever crease your spine   But there's one thing I won't promise, there's one thing I won't do   Can't leave you in the box babe, this collector is coming through      Let me be your conventional lover   Let me show you some conventional love   I don't mean to boast, I don't mean to brag (ooh love long and prosper)   But I'm a man whose only issues all come in mylar bags      Let me be your conventional lover   Let me give you my conventional love   I'll give you my heart, I'll treat you nice (ooh love long and prosper)   And the games that I play only have twenty-sided dice      Let me be your conventional lover   Let me give you my conventional love   I'll give you my heart, I'll treat you fine   And I'll make sweet love to you while we're watching Deep Space Nine