You turn the oven on, I'll light a match   You stick your head in the oven   We'll all go up in one big flash   Won't dial nine one one, they shut off the phone   I had the money once   I'd rather we had a happy home      Which one of the two of us is gonna burn this house down?   Which one of the two of us will burn it right down?   Which one of us is gonna burn this house down?      Tell me so so I can find out   So I can try and put it out   Because the best thing to do for fire prevention week    Is if me and you could just not speak      You know how to wind me up, just talk about him    Mention his name just one more time   And no one's ever gonna see him again   Chicken with a lit cigarette don't scare a guy like me   You can burn a hole in your hand -   Just don't burn a hole in the sheets      Which one of the two of us is gonna burn this house down?   Which one of the two of us will burn it right down?   Which one of us is gonna burn this house down?      Let me know in advance, so maybe there can be a chance    If we line the place with fireproof sheets   We'll just make it through the week   Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh       You got a big book of matches in your hand    Each one you light makes me less of a man    That faggot in a jacket don’t scare a man like me    Take it out on him, don't take it out on me      Which one of the two of us is gonna burn this house down?   Which one of the two of us will burn it right down?   Which one of us is gonna burn this house down?      Tell me your desire, so I can put out your fire    If I see the cops coming down the street   I know which one I'm gonna meet      Which one of the two of us is gonna burn this house down?   Which one of the two of us will burn it right down?   Which one of us is gonna burn this house down?