Funky fresh on the muthafuckin microphone   Bitch      And it don't stop   To the beat, baby      Oakland, California is in the house   Bitch      [ VERSE 1 ]   I tell you, nobody does it better than Too $hort   I got so many raps, I know you can't have more   Cause I grew up on the mic, I spent my whole life   Writin raps, late at night   And I never would make no fake LP's   Sucker MC's don't make no g's   They make weak, weak raps, and need to quit   22 songs, and only 3 on hit   Frontin on me like you want some   Better sell a million records, go platinum   Cause I wouldn't waste my time on a one-rap rapper   You wanna get with me, you gotta climb that ladder   But you ain't nothin but a joke   Rappers make money, tell me why are you broke?   We get paid like a muthafucka, and we get   A brand-new house full of brand-new shit   A brand-new car in my brand-new driveway   I always keep the top down on the highway   Too $hort, baby, known everywhere   Had a life-long dream to be a player   Way too cold at a younger age   It was everyday, 'just make that pay'   12 years later, still in the game   And you never talk down on a player's name   Cause I'm (Too $hort, Too $hort)      [ VERSE 2 ]   You see, I'm fresh like always with funky beats   I say what's up to the brothers on 10th Street   It's goin down in the Oakland town   Home of the infamous Too $hort sound   So keep your jealous-ass thoughts in your diary   And if you're lookin for a leader, you can hire me   And if your so-called boss don't pay   The only thing you need to say   Is "I quit, I'm through with you"   Pack up your raps, and join the Dangerous Crew   We got mo' beats than the average joe   And a 24-track studio   So forget what you heard, and we'll see it's on   Oakland, California can't leave me alone   Cause I'm the most rappin, most rhymin   Sold my drop-top, but I'm still high-sidin   I'm (Too $hort, Too $hort)      [ VERSE 3 ]   Now that I've established my career   I wanna help some other brothers out here   Hook em up and let em make some dough   Flip Benzes and turn out shows   Cause Oakland got talent, fool   MC's in elementary school   Not to mention musicians and singers   And Shorty B with his magical fingers   We get funky like skunk weed   Light it up, hit it, and get keed   This dopefiend beat will get you high   If it don't go gold too soon, I'll cry   If the bass ain't deep, somethin's wrong   It must not be a real Too $hort song   Cause the first thing I do when I make my tape   Is drop a few kicks from my 808   And when my tapes hit the store, they sell so quick   You can tell by my big fat royalty check   It's just a Dangerous thing when I'm on the mic   And the local police don't even like   The way we hit your town, it's so funny   It's all about makin big money   So before I go, you should remember this   Muthafuck you, damn shithead bitch   Cause I'm (Too $hort, Too $hort)