He’s an ol' altar boy   Lying out there in the street   He’s an ol' alter boy   Bound up in leather and chains   That’s why I’m feeling so blue   I'm an old altar boy   What about you?      Now, I can order in Latin   Make ‘em au gratin, Joe   I’m an old altar boy   That’s why I’m so depressed   I never got the rest of the dream   Just the ritual   Now I’m habitual   Majoring in crimes that are unspeakable   Cause I’m an old altar boy   That’s what happened to me.      I'm an old altar boy   He’s hoping he can meet a woman dressed like a nun   He knows there’s got to be some around here   Drinking across from the church   A little Father Cribari wine   On a Sunday morn' time.      I'm an old altar boy.   Why is he winking at this time in his life?   He never took a wife, cause he’s an old altar boy   Oh, yeah...   What about you?