Can I tell you a romantic story?   About the one-eyed lady in France   I guess the king decreed, that all the various princes   Should try to get inside her pants      So along came a St. Paul dandy   He was six and a half feet tall   He said "All the little ladies love roses"   She took the roses and that was all      The next man for the one-eyed lady   Was my dignified brother Dan   He said "Bring the little woman some kisses and attention"   She wouldn't even shake his hand      Then I moved into the picture   I was wearing these magic pants   I said "Let the blind bottom of my body do the talking"   She fell into a magic trance      I wore the pants   I said relax   We did a dance   They call the slacks      Now let me tell you the truth of the story   It was me moving in those pants   Matt said the way to her heart is through her tummy   And then he took her out to restaRANT      Could you both turn down the distortion?   Cause you know I wore the pants   You were both laid out on the floor with no protection   In a deep, dark, watery trance      I wore the pants   I said relax   We did a dance   They call the slacks