Hey mister bartender give me a drink  I wanna cold wet glass with bubbles in it  And that doesn't mean I can't handle anything stronger now  Just think I'll wait a while.    I'll have a pint of lager please  And a pack of flakies  Give me a pint of lager please  And a can of baked beans    So hey misses tongue driver give us a squeeze  But put your coat back down cos I aint ready to leave  This doesn't mean I don't wanna take you back  You'll just have to wait for that    I'll have a pint of lager please  A complimentary striptease  Give me a pint of lager please  And a bag of green peas    Take me to the kebab hut!    So fill me up with flakes of manky mutton  High up to the top  And don't be putting veg on that  Don't want no cabbage patch kebab  A dab of ketchup, make it red  And please make sure the sheep is dead  And throw some peppers in the bag    "Would you like chili sauce on that?"    Mmmmm!    And a pint of lager please  With a pack of flakies  Give me a pint of lager please  Some soft scoop ice cream    So hey mister cab driver  Give me some breeze  It's been a long long night and it's repeating on me  And that doesn't mean it's time.... to.....  You know what I mean?  Just open the window Geez  Urrrrrgh!    I'll have a pint of lager please  Don't give a monkey's  Give me a pint of lager please  And some processed cheese