it is my birthday   it is a new year   i should be happy    that i am still here   light up a new joint    put on an old shirt   try to remember    forget how my brain works      but i could read a book    a night before this year   i knew every word   their definitions clear    but now in stealth    i check thesaurus   it's become my guilty mistress      so i heave my breath at burning wax    cause i know that spark ain't coming back      it is my birthday    i've got all my friends here   they haven't been talking as of lately   they've all found new bro's and babies   i have smoked away my pride   there is nothing but the cinders of it inside   but i believed in more than nothingness last year    and under every quiet failure it's still here   buried breathing under 18 years    of tragedy and fear   if i could crawl my way out of this grave    just think of all the time i'd save      the stereo's playing the same old songs    but we still hum along      and in no time we'll be spread    across the earth   donning business suits to show    the faceless master what we're worth   from our huggies to armani    and it all seems so rehearsed