sometimes i think i should give up on my friends   all they do is weigh me down   and it’s my walls that i treasure, it’s my walls i will keep   they keep the wind from being so mean to me   sometimes i think i should give up on my songs   they keep me believing that i’m something that i’m not   but it’s the figurative heart, and selected parts of my brain   that keep me believing this until i rot      that it’s them it’s not me   they have no backbone   but it’s a problem, it's my problem   and i’ll deal with it alone   and i’m a sucker for the sorest eyes   cause they keep me from   and i hate surprise      i like to keep the air thick, cause i’m a selfish little girl   it keeps me from going out and doing more in the world   like forgiving or forgetting or returning those calls   excepting formal connections, or giving in at all   i like to make it difficult, it’s the only thing that saves me in the long run   and if i never speak to you again, if i stop looking at your face   it’s because i loved you      and it’s you, yeah it’s you   and you hurt me   but it’s ok, it’s your life   you’re gonna live it as you please   and it’s a truth of the w*orld   but i get lonely   and when i do i take it very personally   i should stop expecting gift cards to be ponys   leaving trails of bread crumbs to lead people to care about me   and it’s me it’s no them   i think i’m different   but the storys are all the same it’s just the lyrics      well i learn to love you and then i learn to let you go   funny that you never learn to come back   you get sad and you cry, say you’re always gonna be alone   you sound so stupid      and i’ve got blood and you’ve got blood and it’s as thick as they say   but you don’t, so why should i be the one to stay   and there’s an ethic in telling somebody that you hate them   and there’s a reason that i   grind my teeth, hold my grudges, never let you see me cry      and it’s you, and after years you learned to hurt me   you took my offerings, gave me dirt and said they didn’t mean a thing   and i’ll take it as my cue to turn my back, learn to hate you and hopefully   try to finally put this to sleep