Oh, to have a pristine claw   These hands are old and sore   The knuckles they ache, the bones they do break   Oh, to have a youthful frown   Bleed on the surgeon's gown   Put plastic in me, I'm perfect you see      Don't look older than 43   But really I'm 70   Now run young man and get my pills from the pharmacy   Rearrange my face for a hefty fee   I can't change the inside of me   I'm a vampire of the 21st century      Oh, to have a pristine claw   Marry the doctor when I'm poor   A face I can love, a cut that's above   If, the aliens landed here   They'd see why we're so weird   We're destined to die, we're destined to die      Don't look older than 43   But really I'm 70   Now run young man and get my pills from the pharmacy   Rearrange my face for a hefty fee   I can't change the inside of me   I'm a vampire of the 21st century      That's me, that's me, that's me, that's me...