I'm a lonesome schoolboy    and I just came into town    I'm a lonesome schoolboy    and I just came into town    Well, I heard so much about London    I decided to check it out       I wait in Leicester Square    with a come-hither look in my eye    And I'm leaning on Nelson's Column    but all I do is talk to the lime       Where do I get my cock sucked?    Where do I get my ass fucked?    I ain't got no money,    but I know where to put it every time       Well, I asked a young policeman    if he'd only lock me up for the night    And I got pigs in the farmyard,    some of them, some of them, they're alright    Well, he fucked me with his truncheon    and his helmet was way too tight       Where do I get my cock sucked?    Where do I get my ass fucked?    I ain't got no money,    but I know where to put it every time       I'm a lonesome schoolboy   from the other side of town