Tedious people, tiresome town   Under the gaze of the mayoral frown   Always calm with a gentle breeze   Tarkus in black vinyl please   What would you do   If the sexton’s wife from the best-kept village nearby came running   With bells round her neck and said   You’d better move away, tomorrow or today   ’cause when the owl starts laughing   We will all fall down   There’s an outbreak of Vitas Gerulaitis on the way      Why it’s Mr Kowalski   It was you all along   That ski lodge would have been mine   If it wasn’t for you meddling kids   But what can you do   When your Mum’s in Rampton, bouncing off the walls   And singing “Who’s afraid, of Virginia Wade?”   Why do that today when you can always put it off until tomorrow?   Was our motto   Subsequently engraved on a plaque   As a reminder of the attack   Of Vitas Gerulaitis      We all fall down   We all fall down   We all fall down   We all fall down   Who’s afraid of Virginia Wade?   Who’s afraid of Virginia Wade?   An outbreak of Vitas Gerulaitis   In the town   In the town   In the town   In the town   We all fall down