I’m wearing fifty ex-chinchillas   And a gator each per boot   Hog-tied around my waste-line   Suede trimming on my suit   Got a bear-skin rug and leather couch   And antlers on the walls   Goose-neck lamps and decoys make   Impeccable duck calls      Had a mixed grill fry for breakfast   Pair of mutton chops for lunch   Rare sirloin tips for supper   George Foreman’d by the bunch   A nightcap chaw of jerky   And a cup of ox tail soup   A swig of wild turkey   Makes a happier coop.      And I say Oh so bucco   What the heck’s the big old deal   Was I away the day that someone said    A monkee invented the wheel?      My after-shave’s been tested   On a thousand stubbled rats   My hearing aid’s derived from tech   Discovered from trained bats   My Lipitor cured countless chimps    Before it could save me   No that ain’t me tap dancin’   Those are new titanium knees      And I say Oh so Bucco   What the hell’s the big kaboo   For some of us to have a fine old time   We’ve got to sacrifice a few.                  I didn’t see the Prius turn    I honked the Hummer’s horn   The moose, the rack, the rods and guns   The whole front end was shorn   They flew me to Bethesda   Choppered me in DOA   Left behind the liver   Rushed my kidneys to L.A.      My hair wound up in transplant   My lips were wrapped and sealed   Tongue tied up in customs   My skin was dried and pealed   Corneas went Fedex   Eardrums next day ground   Took whatever’s workin’   Left the rest in lost and found      Now I am Oh so Bucco   Eventually you crash and burn   To everything there’s open season   I guess it was this monkee’s turn