Here I go, 9 am   Sitting here, staring at the tube again   I'm in denial, I'd in defeat   Cause if I don't get to see her, I'll be incomplete   Got no school, got no job   My friends keep saying I'm a lazy slob   But there's one thing I can't stand   It's when they're talking while I'm watching Regis and      Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa   A mommy with the body of a stripper   Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa   She's so fine, I'd settle for her dad   Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa   If I had some chocolate, I would dip her   Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa   Why you wanna make a boy go bad?      Riding around in my car   Worshipping a TV goddess from afar   There's no way I can see   Her ever leaving Regis just to be with me   My girlfriend's mad cause I can pay   Attention to her, watching (Ripa all day)   It must be hard when you're a girl   To be an Angelina in a Kelly world      Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa   If she was a naughty girl, I'd whip her   Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa   Rocking all the polyester plaids   Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa   If she was a crime, I would commit her   Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa   Why you wanna make a boy go bad?      How's a guy supposed to believe in everything he's not   Try my best to fight this fire with fire      Why you wanna try to take my TV set away? (Hey)   How am I supposed to wake and start another day? (Hey)   Clearly, you are dealing with a desperate man who's close to insane      I've lost my mind, the doctor's say   They locked me up but really, that's okay   Cause my new nurse looks just like      Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa   If she was a lollipop, I'd lick her   Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa   Kind of makes mistakes, she's probably sad   Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa   A mommy with the body of a stripper   Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa   She's so fine, I'd settle for her   Rocking all the polyester   Why you wanna make a boy go bad?