I like my friends when they're heartbroken   and in need of company   but they all seem to have things figuered out   and no one ever calls me      So if you feel like it   I always feel like it   I'll bring my problems too      I'm here drinking all by myself   making plans for the future   in the big scheme and everything   the world's got too much yang      Sometimes not so well-paid women   come and talk to me   they all say a time will come   for my home-sick soul you see      And while their faces are lying   I'm kind of glad they're tying   here's to battered women's rides      I'm here drinking all by myself   I'm gonna make my share of trouble   in the big scheme and everything   the world's got too much yang