I'd commit a number of any crimes   If I could get a thousand lashes from your eyes   It's a puerile compliment   I'm a senile delinquent   Whose day in court never comes      Whose way to court girls is all thumbs   Whose day in court never comes   Whose way to court he just hums      Who is city and who is horses?   Who writes the words and who sings the choruses?   I'm fishing for a complain tent   I'm in prison on arraignment   For a crime I didn't commit      This time I'm innocent   I swear that I'm not fit   To take the stand and admit   This time I'm innocent