and now children, jackanory   today, the story of sammy and his friends   read to you by joolz      sammy wears clothes he got from skips or * shops   he's very dirty, and he scratches a lot   he has his hair in a sort of 'mohecan'   that his girlfriend, ratty, cut for him with a pen knife   her name isn't really ratty   but she thought it sounded better than: shera lainsworth   she's very thin, and white   and also has a mohecan   that her friend 'snake,' who was susan fletcher, did for her   it's the same greasy black as sammy's   because they shared the dye that snake stole from boots   snake has scabies   sammy doesn't talk to snake   because he tried to cop off with her, and the stupid cow said no   sammy wonders just who she thinks she is   sammy smokes lots and lots of grass   he lives in a squat in brickston   but he hates black people because they laugh at him in the street   so do white people, come to that   sammy rolls another joint and wishes that ratty wouldn't sleep with her mouth open   he thinks that she's a stupid cow too   especially since her parents won't send her any more money   sammy taps the ash into her mouth   she wakes up and cries   sammy is sick of her crying   he wishes she'd tidy up the squat, so he'd be more comfortable   sammy reckons soon, he'll go live in amsterdam   because the dope is cheaper, and the government takes care of you properly   and he'd get a proper squat with a bathroom   he won't take ratty though   because dutch girls like english punks   and ratty cries too much   sammy hates everyone really   but especially people in groups   sammy would like to be in a group   as long as they were instantly popular and he didn't have to work at it at all   he likes to go to gigs, as long as they're free   pumps lots and lots of money   drink lots of cider   slack everybody off, throw bottles and things at people and then run away   ratty likes that too, because sammy does   sammy rolls another joint and scratches his scabies   'goodnight sammy.'   'goodnight ratty.'   'goodnight.'   'goodnight.'   'goodnight.'