Well I woke up really early   on my anniversary   Wife told me to meet her   at the house for lunch around 3   Well I showed up real early   with flowers in my hand   Walked into the front door   there stood a one-legged man   and he told me that he loved my wife   and she was good in bed   Well I punched him in the mouth   and then I ran off with his leg   Bitch 3 legged raced off with my heart      I felt kinda bad   stealing that fella's fake leg   although that motherfucker   fucked my wife in my own bed   Well I thought I'd return it   then I'd head out for the bar   to my surprise   that man n my wife   stole my fuckin' car   so I moved out everything I could   except that fuckin' bed   and laughed as I walked out the door   cuz I still had his leg   Bitch 3 legged raced off   That bitch 3 legged raced off with my heart      I don't know if you knew him   but we used to be good friends   we'd go out late night talking   'bout strange places we'd been   little did I know    that fucker talked about my wife   That one legged fucker   one legged hopped   hopped off with my wife   Bitch 3 legged raced off   That bitch 3 legged raced off   That bitch 3 legged raced off with my heart      Well every time that I'm feeling sad   I look up at that leg   just knowing that he's wobbling   makes me feel good instead   I smile when I think about him   fucking in my bed   cuz doggy style is impossible   when you only got one leg   Bitch 3 legged raced off   That bitch 3 legged raced off   That bitch 3 legged raced off with my heart