When growingup as children we have to depend on our family for survival reasons and theearly teaching of life's ways.  We learnto adapt to changes through the ups and downs of our life as we proceed to growup and mature.  The strongest lesson ofall is the ability to depend on our own self for survival and within our teenswe start to delve into this new arena. Most develop naturally to adjust to changes and seek time alone fortheir own individual needs in order to get away from the suffocating structuresthat they see within their family environment, wanting to be the boss of theirown set lifestyle. 

Thisnecessity to be free and unrestricted by life's pressures is a naturalprogression for most but for the few it takes time to realize how importantindependence really is.  It sets us up ona road to self satisfaction and rewards that do not rely on others to be achieved.  Standing on our own two feet really means tohold a ground to what we are as unique and individual people, showing the worldwhat we have to offer from within, from our own personal viewpoint.  What makes independence so strong is the needto not have to rely on another person in order to achieve and enjoy life forwhat it has to offer.  There is no needto ask another for approval or advice, instead following a path on personal choicesand an individual drive and passion.

What thissets up for a person when they seek to have self independence, is that they nolonger have to feel pressured to live up to another person's expectations.  They no longer have to be held down byanother person's rules and laws within a family or defined structure.  This opens up a new doorway to possibility, allowinga person to not be hindered by expectations in order to achieve.  They then can view other people as individualand unique and instead of fighting in order to be heard, they see eye to eyewith another as a separate individual, defining themselves on the basis oftheir own guiding rather than feeling pressured by another person's defined wayof seeing. 

This isexactly the point that is to be understood, that another person's way of seeingis from a different perspective.  Theirconcepts and ideas are not always going to be what gives us a lead on life butmerely an opinion based on their own individual philosophy and experiences.  There might be facts laid out here and there,that we might regard as we further on in life, but the choice to see it or notis based purely on our own desire to see value in their reasoning.  Whether we live within a defined structure ofrules in a family environment these issues will still arise on who is right orwrong when it comes to ideas about how life should be lived.  However when we are independent these conflictsthat we have with other people become something else, they become choice basedand when we talk with others about decisions and ideas, they are discussed on amore basic level.  This allows for us tomake a choice whether to take the advice on or not, giving us back the power tochoose for our own development and lifestyle.

Whathappens when we decide not to follow the path of independence?  Imagine how life would be if we continuallychose to depend on others for all that we do, asking them always for advice andopinion in order to structure our own lives and how to live it.  Can you imagine how life would be as a personwho only follows in another person's footprints in order to construct their ownexperiences?  It would almost be seen asstupidity and blindness, showing only that a person refuses or is too scared totake the reins for their own choices in life. They say then why did I get such a different experience when I didthings in the same way?  Or why did I gethurt when you did not? 

We cannot haveanother person's life, it is that simple. Their choices are based on their own character and structure of lifethat they have already built around them. We cannot be them as much as they cannot be us to know what is good forour own future and desires.  Taking ontheir set rules and structure only shows that we have a fear inside us to makechoices for ourselves, preferring to hide behind another person's directioninstead of taking responsibility for our own actions and experiences. 

An example of this might be when we see a relationship that anotherfriend has with her partner as special, this does not mean ever that we willhave the experience in the same way.  Tosteal the friend's relationship away from them will never mean that we willexperience it in the same way.  Dependingon another person's happiness to be our own, only shows our inability to buildup our own unique experiences.  We cannothave that experience of life for the fact that it belongs to another.  Stealing or following in the shoes of anotheronly then shows that we have little creativity or passion to search on our ownto find our own unique experience.  Itcan also show an inability to see unique beauty in our own personalexperiences, leading to the thought that maybe we do not know how to build alife on our own choices, ambitions and desires, instead then choosing foranother person's experiences and philosophy as our own. 

Knowingthat individual creativity is special is one of the first stepping stones toindependence.  We no longer have to lookto other people for approval or for a better life in which to lead.  What we already create for ourselves isunique and special.  It forms who we areand gives us two strong feet in which to stand on, leading us towards a path ofseeing life in our own eyes instead of trying hard to fit into the shoes ofanother.  Just like in the tale of Cinderella,there is only one who can be her and as much as we all try and fit in her shoe,she will still be the one who marries the prince and the one who will livehappily ever after.  We might not beCinderella but we can create our own unique fairy tale that can bring to us allthat we desire and wish to experience as an individual and unique perceptionthrough independence.

 
By Stacey T Pollock