Anthony came to his coaching call confounded. In an effort to provide amazing service to his clients, he sends out questionnaires after each major sale. It's become an automated part of his sales routine. This feedback has proven invaluable to his growth, providing immediate data that is otherwise not available to him.
Additionally, Anthony stands out in the crowd as none of his competitors takes time to solicit such data. He wants to show his clients how much he cares about them and about doing an extratordinary job for them.
One of Anthony's valued clients was recently insulted in receiving the questionnaire stating: "I'm not going to justify it with a response! There was nothing you could have done better. You should know that. Your questionnaire is a sign of insecurity."
Anthony shock was this: "If I seek to enhance my skill sets each day, and have developed tools to aid in this process, how can a client who'll benefit from my continual improvement possibly be irritated by this?"
You, my amazing readers, have already answered this question in your own mind:
If Anthony's client had taken a deep breath and not jumped to a conclusion, he'd have seen that he got upset due to his own short-sighted 'assumption' and not over Anthony's 'intention' was.
Anthony's client showed his own insecurities wrapped up in his refusal to cooperate. It wasn't about Anthony. Can you imagine what string of assumptions might have lead this client to his conclusions?
We're all guilty of making assumptions. In our haste, we think we know the meaning behind other's words and actions, but unless we take the time to get curious, we simply miss the bigger picture. Before we know it, we've entered into a downward spiral that damages relationships. Unless someone points this out to us, we will continue to strengthen the pattern.
Anthony's client exhibited a dangerous blend of 'assumption' and 'impatience.' Had he taken the time to consider who Anthony was and what he was really trying to accomplish, he might have been willing to cooperate more graciously because he could see the 'good' in what Anthony had established with his questionnaire.
This little story will stand as a reminder for you to notice your own assumptions this week. Do your assumptions keep you from seeing the whole picture? (A hint is that you feel immediately irritated.) Slow down and ask yourself: "What is it about this scenario that irritates me and is it more about me or the other person?" And then ask yourself: Can I see anything at all that is good in his request?"