The other day I saw a father talking to his daughter after she finished her karate class. It was easy to see that he loved his daughter and wanted her to do well… but his desire to see her do well was the very thing that made her feel like a failure - like she couldn’t do anything right. The girl looked like she wanted to run off and cry.
Children, more than anything else, want to be loved and appreciated - especially by busy parents. The amount of approval a child gets from her parents is often the measuring stick by which the child gauge how much they are loved. That’s why children often check to see if Mom and Dad are watching…
As grown-ups, we know how important it is for our children to pay attention while they’re in class… to not miss any piece of information that could be critical to their success. As loving parents, we want our children to do well.
And that’s where the mistake is often made - kids, looking up to see if mom and dad are watching, are sometimes met with a scowl and a quick gesture to turn around and pay attention to the instructor, when all they were looking for was a smile and a thumbs up.
Of course, parents would be horrified to learn that they were unintentionally hurting their child -- out of concern and love! None of our “Karate Parents" want to see their children’s self esteem dashed.
You see, people (and children especially!) learn much more efficiently and stay more focused when they are praised for doing something right, rather than criticized for doing something wrong. Children will have the confidence to move out of their comfort zone when they know that they are encouraged and free from criticism.
Parents who want to support their children in class will have the most success when giving their child a quick thumbs up and encouraging their child - loving them with their smile!
Making corrections is our second most important job - please leave it up to us!
You see, developing life skills in children is our number one priority and when working with kids, it’s important to “put first things first" - striving for long term benefits, like Black Belt Excellence, a strong self image, respect, courage, modesty, perseverance, and integrity.
Making corrections in the physical side of the Martial Arts (stances, techniques, etc.) is our second most important job. Especially in the beginning!
We were very excited to learn that this “first things first" system also brings about a very positive side effect.
Just think how excited we were when we realized that when we put positive character development first, excellent physical Martial Arts skills followed! When our teachers “put first things first," the physical skills of the Martial Arts eventually develop to exciting levels!
Yours for Successful Kids,
Denny Strecker
P.S. If you have a concern about your child’s progress, mistakes, attention span, or behavior I encourage you to contact me.
