The pain of busting up with your lover is like no other – it hurts way down deep, and haunts your every waking moment. It visits you in the middle of the night, leaving tears on your pillow. It makes your voice quiver as you tell a friend or colleague the news, and no matter how hard you try to move on, the void in your life is a constant reminder of what you used to have. Dealing with a breakup isn't easy and anyone who says it is just hasn't been there.

Because unless you have lived through it yourself, it is impossible to understand how breaking up with your lover, whether it is a wife or husband, boyfriend or girlfriend, can affect you life. The trouble is, most break ups need not happen at all, and just about every one of them can be mended.

In many cases getting your lover back is the most positive step you can make, and if there is any spark at all left in the relationship, it is a goal worth striving for. There are proven ways to successfully get there – and many ways NOT to go about it. For instance:

* Don't beg – this will only humiliate you

* Don't promise to change everything about yourself – you won't succeed

* Don't try to declare that you were not at fault – it takes two to tango

* Don't phone in tears apologizing continually – your calls will go unanswered

* Don't wait by the phone for your former lover to call you

* Don't go over your final conversation over and over again, analyzing it for hidden meanings

* Don't spy on them

If you have already gone down this road, don't panic! Coping with breakups was never taught in school, and managing them is something that doesn't come easily. After all – you're heart is breaking here!

And you want your lover BACK!

So look around and see how others are dealing with a breakup – are they moping about, or getting on with some positive “get my love-life back on track” action? Which would you prefer to be?

Have you seen other break-ups rekindle the romance? You know it happens all the time and there are proven motivators to make this happen – and all you need someone to hold your hand a little and show you what they are.

You could spend hundreds of dollars with counselors working through your break up issues, getting you back on track, and that's a really positive step. But counselors are not going to get your guy or gal back in your arms. There are however, some excellent, proven ways to go about just this.

The thing is, there are motives and reasons why exes decide to take back their lovers, and when you understand what they are, and are guided in the right direction, you can not only get your lover back, but learn how to keep them in your arms for the long haul. Don't try to be one of those dealing with a breakup on their own, because help is at hand.

Be sure to take the advice only of people and organizations who have proven success in relationship rebuilding, and who have techniques that are backed by a money-back guarantee.