In my little circle, homebirth is the logical choice for a mom-to-be. But outside of my circle, very few women choose to have a birth at home. Even highly educated, well informed women, who know their options, who choose to have a natural birth, choose to have that birth at a hospital. So what is keeping them from wanting what I consider the "optimum" birth experience?

If safety is the issue, there are studies touting safety... showing homebirth is just as safe, if not safer than hospital birth. And there is a lot of helpful information available in the form of birth stories and birth videos to give mothers an idea of what a homebirth is really like. Even in your local community, you can find out who the homebirth midwives are and interview them, ask them about all your questions and concerns. So why aren't most women doing these things? Why do they just choose the default option, hospital birth?

So, if the "facts" about homebirth are convincing and available, it seems to me that women are choosing hospital birth from an emotional, instead of practical viewpoint. Women are more emotional it seems, at least compared to men, so this makes sense. What bothers me is that the "emotion" is fear. Let me back up here. I am not fearless in the face of pregnancy and birth. But I am not fearful.

Here are my views on birth: I view birth as something to be respected, but not something to be controlled. I respect birth and I fully recognize that it is not always what we want, need or hope it to be. There are risks attached to birth, just as there are risks with anything in life. On the other side of birth and life is death. And that is something that must be respected. Because I respect birth, I do not and would not try to control it or relinquish the responsibility of my body or my baby to anyone else, regardless of the situation.

I think that choosing hospital birth is relinquishing this responsibility, and the sad fact is I think many women consciously choose this path over homebirth because the respect for birth is not there.

In the end, many women do not really want to accept the responsibility that comes with birth.

You can't really rid yourself of this responsibility of course, but you certainly can transfer it, and this is my definition of hospital birth. But still I ask, why would any women want to transfer the responsibility of her own health and her baby's health to anyone else?

It really comes down to informed consent.

Informed consent does not mean you have to know it all, or that you can simply tune out things you'd rather not hear. It is about being provided all of the options and information you need to make your own decisions and your own choices. And that's the big difference between homebirth and hospital birth and also the reason I think most women choose the latter.

Many women simply aren't aware that informed consent exists. And many don't want to have to do the work to make their own choices and live with them. Instead, they choose what "the doctor says" over what their body is telling them to do. There is no place for this worse than in a birth setting.

To put a positive spin on this dire situation, I challenge you to ask yourself a few really hard questions during your pregnancy that only you know the answer to. For many women, the way to a homebirth comes after soul-searching and connecting with the innate ability we all have to give birth naturally and with minimal interference.

Here are just a few of those "hard" questions: How do I view birth? What experiences have I had that have influenced this view?

Deep down, do I feel like I need "help" in having a baby?

Am I willing to truly accept the responsibility that comes with being pregnant, giving birth, being a parent, even when and especially when I cannot control every aspect of these things?

Do I feel like I have to be socially acceptable in my birthing choices (often choosing hospital birth)? How important is it to me to make a choice that everyone else agrees with?

So invest your time to learn about your options and learn about homebirth. Watch birth videos, home and hospital. Close your eyes and visualize what you want for your baby. What do you see?

The greatest power we are given in pregnancy and birth is the ability to examine our fears and make conscious choices. When you think you have gotten to the bottom of it for yourself, tell me what you think.

Do you respect birth? Is fear holding you back from a homebirth? If not, what is? I'd like to hear your thoughts.