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Problem Solving in Parenting

When you face a problem or an issue presented by your children, you may use problem solving approach to understand and resolve problems. Treating problem as a valuable learning opportunity, you may use questioning to help them express their feeling and ask them suitable and relevant questions to help them resolve their problem.

Express feeling and emotion

You may help your children to express their emotion. You can tell or share with their children about their feelings. For instance, a mother said to his child, "You appeared to be very angry. What is happening?"

Think

You may teach their children thinking skill. You may ask your child,"What can you do to solve the problem?" or "What can I do to help?"

When your children have suggested some methods or ways, you need to recognise their effort to help themselves and ask them the outcome or impact of their action on others. You may guide them to find the best way to solve their problem.

Act

Once the children have decided the best solution, they need the support or encouragement to act on their decision. You can ask them,"What do they learn from the experience and what will you do now?"

Practice

For example, an elder brother, aged 4, was very angry at the younger brother, aged 2, who snatched his favourite toy. He came to tell his mother. Mother said,"You seemed to be very upset at your brother. Can you tell me more about it?"

The elder brother said,"My younger brother has snatched my favourite toy car." Mother answered, "Um. You must be very angry. What can you do now to solve your problem?"

The elder brother replied, "I can hit him. I screamed and shouted at him. I snatched his favourite toy. I asked him to give it back to me." Mother said,"You have told me so many ways. Tell me which way is the best. Do you remember our family rules that we cannot hurt others?"

The elder brother was quiet for a moment. He said,"I cannot hit or screamed at him because it hurts. I can tell him nicely to get back my toy."

Mother said,"I am glad that you make your decision. What shall you do now?" The elder brother said,"I shall tell him that he is not right because he snatch my toy and ask him to give it back to me."

Mother replied,"I am very happy that you can handle your problem." He was very happy because he got back his toy after he talked to his brother. Mother asked him,"What do you learn?" He replied, "I learn to think and solve my problem."

With more conscious effort, we can apply the problem solving approach into practice in our daily lives. This approach is effective for parents to dialogue with the children to understand their feelings, find out what is happening and ask relevant questions to facilitate problem solving process. This is an important skill for their life-long development.

So now you know a little bit about problem solving in parenting. Even if you don't know everything, you've done something worthwhile: you've expanded your knowledge.

Disclaimers: The author shares this article based on her personal and work experience and disclaims any responsibility for any liability, losses or damages and /or application of any of contents of this article.