Infidelity stabs you over and over, at least initially.
Allow me to present one way, just one way, to begin to get a "hold" your feelings.
Notice I didn't say "get rid" of your awful feelings. Often, the more we insist upon them "going away" the more they seem to persist. After all, your feelings have concerns and fears that MUST be addressed. But, you want to address them on YOUR timetable and in way that will honor you.
The key word is: control. You want to control yourself, your thinking and your feelings as you move through this agonizing process. At the same time you do not want to "control" to the extent that you deny, avoid or minimize what it is that you must look at and address in your situation.
I often suggest this technique.
When the feelings/thoughts are most intense, find a place where you can be alone (lock the bathroom door, if need be). Set the timer/watch for 2 minutes.
When the timer goes off, say to yourself, "OK, it's time to put you (feelings/thoughts) aside for the time being. I have other responsibilities. I will come back to you later." This process develops and calls attention to a "part of you" that can stand back and monitor (control in a healthy manner) the process. You also treat your feelings and thoughts with respect and acknowledge their legitimacy.
Give it a try.
This is often helpful for those who like to write, or express themselves best through the written word. And, it seems to be most helpful for those who tend to be reflective in nature.
If this doesn't work for you, don't worry. It may not fit your style of how you cope with intense feelings/thoughts. Other techniques are available for you.
Over time, as you address your feelings, their intensity will fade and they will express themselves less frequently. "They" do want to know that they will not be ignored and that you, in some fashion, will attend to "them".
