"*!*!*ACCORDING TO PLAN 1*!*!*    It's a beautiful day    It's a rather nice day    A day for a glorious wedding    A rehearsal my dear, to be perfectly clear    A rehearsal for a glorious wedding    Assuming nothing happens that we don't really know    That nothing unexpected interferes with the show       And that's why every thing    Every last little thing    Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go       According to plan    Our son will be married    According to plan    Our family carried    Elevated to the heights of society       To the costume balls    In the hallowed halls    Rubbing elbows with the finest    And having crumpets with her highness    We’ll be there, we’ll be seen    Having tea with the queen    Forget everything    That we’ve ever, ever been       *!*!*ACCORDING TO PLAN 2*!*!*    It's a terrible day    Now don't be that way   It's a terrible day for a wedding    It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in    That has led to this ominous wedding    How could our family have come to this?    To marry off our daughter to the nouveau riche    Their so common    So coarse    Oh it couldn’t be worse    Couldn’t be worse? I’m afraid I disagree    They could be land rich, bankrupt, aristocracy    Without a penny to their name    Just like you, and me    Oh dear       And that’s why everything    Every last little thing    Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go       According to plan    Our daughter will wed    According to plan    Our family led    From the depths of deepest poverty    To the noble realm    Of our ancestors    And who’d have guessed in a million years?    That our daughter with a face    Of an otter in disgrace    Would provide our tickets to a rightful place       *!*!*ACCORDING TO PLAN 3*!*!*    Marriage is a partnership    A little tit for tat    You’d think a lifetime watching us    Might have taught her that    Might have taught her that       Everything must be perfect    Everything must be perfect    Everything must be perfect perfect    That’s why everything    Every last little thing    Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go       According to plan    "