This is living   I've got everything I want at my fingertips   Just have to clap and lights turn on      I've got several piles of records   I don't know which one I'll put on next      I've got a hundred subscriptions to magazines I'll never read   I like mail      I'm staring at the toys on my wall   Wondering what can be swallowed   Or take out an eyeball   Or what the people in China think about these things   When they make them      I'm not crazy   I'm merely entertaining the thought of going insane      The ball game must be over now   Maybe they'll show a movie   From the '80's      And I'll imagine what it would be like to live back then   At the age I am now      I'm staring at the back of her head   Trying to make her turn around      Feeling the meat on my cat   Wondering what it would be like to cook her   But I won't   'Cause that would cause a terrible fuss among my friends      And I'm not crazy   I'm merely entertaining the thought of going insane      I'm not crazy (x9)