I think fur is a crime, I protest all the time   you should see all my bumper stickers   That Firestorm song sure gets me singing along   My righteousness never flickers   I think P.E.T.A. is swell and vivisectionists go to hell   I live to fight the man   And if there is ever a cause with no dietary laws   I'll be the first to take a stand      The animals, I see their pain with ease   But don't expect me to give up pizza with cheese   The animals, I see their pain with ease   But don't expect me to eat a pizza without cheese      I know I could be the best vegan the world's seen   It's such a shame my doctor says I can't because I need the protein   What's right or what's wrong is not a tough decision   But animal torture is a part of my new religion   Hey, you know that I am down with what it's about   Did I happen to mention I need the strength to work out?   Because I am building up muscle, I'm a growing boy   Such a cruel twist of fate, I'm allergic to soy      Excuses, excuses, are not for me!   I've wised up, but these leather shoes were free   These shoes were free