How come all the best athletes   Had the poshest kits   While the slow, fat, thin, and spotty ones   Had shorts that didn't fit?   They never lingered in the changing rooms   With a home-made note   Or batted only once   Before they got caught   And how come all the sporty types   Were the first to grow breasts?   They had Marks & Sparks bras   I squirmed in a vest   Never wore their sisters' shorts   With the wrong initial   Or limped back from cross-country   Two hours behind schedule   And how come they said   That games were fun?   If you want the truth   Ask the ones that never won