I'm trying not to try so hard,   Makes me wonder if it's really effortless,   Or if I'm fooling myself?   'Cause if I have to put so much of me   Into trying not to care,   Where am I then?   I'm lying.       And do you see the way I walk away?   I never really know what I should say,   So it comes out wrong,   If it comes out at all.      So I straighten myself out,   I bring me back down,   "Don't be ridiculous,   You are so wrong."   But then I'm drifting,   On a wave of thought.   I get lost in the tides,   And I can barely recognize myself.      I don't mind,   'Cause do you see the way I walk away?   I never really know what I should say,   So it comes out wrong,   If it comes out at all.      So I try to act the way I would   If I was someone that wasn't me.   But you wipe that away, don't you?   And I am falling down,   I am tripping on words,   I am out of my mind.   You know, this is not like me.   I'm not usually happy, I swear.      And do you see the way I walk away?   I never really know what I should say   So it comes out wrong.      And I turn my back   And I don't look back.   I am unafraid...      ...but really I'm just kidding.      I'm terrified,   And I think I like it.      And I don't care if I look ridiculous,   Trying to be effortless.