Oh, there're sober men in plenty,   And drunkards barely twenty,   There are men of over ninety   That have never yet kissed a girl.   But gie me a ramblin' rover,   And fae Orkney down to Dover.   We will roam the country over   And together we'll face the world.      There's many that feign enjoyment   From merciless employment,   Their ambition was this deployment   From the minute they left the school.   And they save and scrape and ponder   While the rest go out and squander,   See the world and rove and wander   And are happier as a rule.      I've roamed through all the nations   Ta'en delight in all creation,   And I've tried a wee sensation   Where the company, did prove kind.   And when partin' was no pleasure,   I've drunk another measure   To the good friends that were treasure   For they always are in our minds.      If you're bent wi' arth-i-ritis,   Your bowels have got colitis,   You've gallopin' with bollockitis   And you're thinkin' it's time you died,   If you been a man of action,   Though you're lying there in traction,   You will get some satisfaction   Thinkin', "Jesus, at least I tried."