hello mudda, hello fadda   here i am at camp granada   camp is very entertaining   they say we'll have some fun when it stops raining      i went hiking with joe spivy   he developed poison ivy   you remeber leonard skinner   he got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner      all the counslers hate the waiters   and the lake has alligators   and the head coach wants no sissies   so he reads to us from something called uylesses      i dont want this, should i scare ya   but my bunk mate has malaria   you remember jeffery hardy   they're about to organize a searching party      take me home, o mudda fudda   take me home, i hate granada   don't leave me out in the forest   where i might get eaten by a bear      take me home, i promise i will not make noise   or mess the house with other boys   o please don't make me stay   i've been here one whole day      dearest fadda, darling mudda   how's my precious little brudda   let me come home, if you miss me   i would even let aunt bertha hug and kiss me      wait a minute, it stopped hailing   guys are swimming, gals are sailing   playing base ball, gee that's bedda   mudda fudda kindly disregard this letter!