It feels like I've been alone to long with no girls around my mom was wonderin'   Thinking of some way to release it   I looked in the kitchen saw some Crisco oil and that's when my blood started to boil   Oh yeah   Oww, oww, oww   Aw oh   Oww, oww, oww   God what did I just do      No one wanted to be with me   Had to make my dream come true   I wanted to have something   I didn't know what to do   It seemed like a good idea   And no one else was around   I stuck my weenie in a bottle   And now I can't get it out   I stuck my weenie in a bottle today   Got it stuck up there all the way   I stuck my weenie in a bottle oh no    Can't, can't someone come help me out      It's turning purple all the feelings gone   Now where did I put that frigin' phone   Dialing 911   Please pick up I'm in a lot of pain   This was supposed to feel good know I'm suffering   Oh please answer   Denver 911 what is your emergency   Oww, oww, oww   Hello   Oww, oww, oww   Sir what seems to be the problem   No one wanted to be with me   Had to make my dream come true   I wanted to have something   I didn't know what to do   Go on    It seemed like a good idea   And no one else was around   I stuck my weenie in a bottle and now I can't get it out      So you stuck your weenie in a bottle oh my   You must feel really lonely guy   You stuck your weenie in a bottle that's a first    Don't worry sir were sending somebody out   Hey Pam this guy got his weenie stuck in a bottle   No way   He does   He's such a loser   Wait    Wait sir were sending somebody out   ahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha   He's in here lets break the door down   Oh my god      No one wanted to be with him   He had to make his dream come true   He wanted to have something    I didn't know what to do   It seemed like a good idea and no one else was around   He stuck his weenie in a bottle    And now I can't get it out   Ok relax kid were gonna get this thing of ya   Ok terry get ready   Ready pull, pull, pull   Oooooooouuuuuuuuccccchhhhh    Stuck my weenie in a bottle today   Now, now, now I can't get it out