Uh huh, extra cheese   Uh huh, uh huh, save a piece for me      Pizza party at your house   I went just to check it out   Nineteen extra larges   What a shame no one came      Just us eatin' all alone   You said, "Take the pizza home   No sense lettin' all this go to waste"   So then I faced      Pizza all day and every day   This cheese 'round the clock   Is gettin' me blocked   And I sure don't care for irregularity      Tell me   Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?   'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated   In the bathroom I sit and I wait and I strain   And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain   Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?   No, no, no      I was feelin' pretty down   Till my girlfriend came around   We're just so alike in every way   I gotta say      In fact I just thought I might   Pop the question there that night   I was kissing her so tenderly   But woe is me      Who would have guessed, her family crest   I'd suddenly spy tattooed on her thigh   And son of a gun   It's just like the one on me      Tell me   How was I supposed to know we were both related?   Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated   What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose   And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes   And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?   No, no, no   (No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no)      I had so much on my mind   I thought maybe I'd unwind   Try out that new roller coaster ride   And the guide      Said not to stand   But that's a demand that I couldn't meet   I got on my feet and stood up instead   And knocked off my head, you see      Tell me   Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?   This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it   Such a drag, now can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore   I can't belch or yodel anymore   Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated      Oh no   Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated?   (Yeah, yeah)   I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated   What a bummer, can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeze   But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now   Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated   No, no, no