Woman goes to heaven, it's not important when   'Cause as soon as she arrives God has to send her down again   'You've got an extra five years to clean up after men'   'I mean no disrespect God, but you better make it ten'      Well if heaven's an improvement I won't mind the extra squeeze   I've got a few more birds down there God, after losing bees   Trying to lose their bees      So don't be shocked who queue-jumps or who just calmly waits   A certain type of behaviour the guest list just creates   No time for lively discussion   No time for televised debates   The well-meaning soon become the well meant   It's the hard sell or hell at the gates      Alcoholic finds himself outside the pearly gates   I've only got one worry God, a few outstanding slates   Any tab you used to have's been passed to so called mates   And after they've paid-up they're off to the land of empty crates      Heaven is a glass, neither half empty nor half full   So do us all a favour God and give that thing a pull   Give that thing a pull      So don't be shocked who queue-jumps or who just calmly waits   A certain type of behaviour the guest list just creates   No time for lively discussion   No time for televised debates   The well-meaning soon become the well meant   It's the hard sell or hell at the gates      Model turns up hours late, he had to get it right   If you're gonna look cool in heaven wear something more than white   Vanity's close to arrogance, just slightly more polite   Fashion show a jumble sale at a slightly different height      So don't be shocked who queue-jumps or who just calmly waits   A certain type of behaviour the guest list just creates   No time for lively discussion   No time for televised debates   The well-meaning soon become the well meant   It's the hard sell or hell at the gates