Dear, sir or madam, will you read my book?   It took me years to write, will you take a look?   It's based on a novel by a man named Lear   And I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer      It's a dirty story of a dirty man   And his clinging wife doesn't understand   His son is working for the Daily Mail   It's a steady job, but he wants to be a paperback writer      It's a thousand pages, give or take a few   I'll be writing more in a week or two   I can make it longer if you like the style   I can change it 'round, but I want to be a paperback writer      If you really like it you can help me write   It can make a million for you overnight   If you must return it you can send it here   But I need a break and I want to be a paperback writer.