A small town in Kentucky that's called Hazzard   Has been known to lay some talent on this land   Gave birth to a group that's really happening Eli Stubbs and his Funky Grass Band   The Funky Grass Band hits the stage a grinnin' their pickin' really turns a body on   Now I wouldn't say the band makes too much money   Cause they been seen a smokin' roll-you-home   Yellow bus come reelin' down the highway headin' for another one night stand   With the women screemin' faint throw their babies   At Eli Stubbs and his Funky Grass Band   [ el.banjo - fiddle ]   Now Eli's a little older and short and stubby and he's bald as an eagle in the back   But he kept it hid from all the friends and neighbors   The one night the band got high and smoked his hat   Now Eli bought himself a brand new toupet   It was long and shaggy and sorta orangey red   One night the fiddle player was a dancin' to the microphone   And pulled the rug clean off of Eli's head   Yellow bus come reelin' down...   [ el.banjo - fiddle ]   One night they was a traveling through the Ozarks and Eli had to answer nature's call   He told the driver to find a filling station I gotta see a man about a dog   He drove on for miles around the mountain Eli hollered hey stop right here   Driver pulled too close to the canyon and Eli almost ended his career   Yellow bus come reelin' down...   Oh get it Eli son crank it crank it crank it Eli