Let me tell you a story about Scary Ned    Scariest guy to ever wet a bed    He had hands on his arms    And eyes on his head       But they weren't his    He'd go down to the market    And try to scare the fish    He said that they bothered him       They weren't his favourite dish    Then he'd go down to the highway    And pretend that he was dead    That was just the way he was       Creepy, Scary Ned    Oooooohhh, Scary Ned.    Ned loved Hallowe'en    Cuz he didn't need a mask       He'd steal the children's candy    And he didn't even ask    He'd sit right down in front of them    And then start to eat       And tell them they were better off    That stuff can rot your teeth    Ooooooohhh, oooooooohh, Scary Ned.    A strange glow would come       From his place late into the night    He'd watch TV 'til the dawn    And you know that that ain't right    And if he started to get tired he'd       Put sauerkraut on his head    That's just the kind of guy he was    Good old Scary Ned    oooooohhh, ooooooohh, ooooooohh Scary Ned.       He had a face his mother    Didn't even love    When people saw him on the street    They often said, "uuughh"       And sometimes late at night    He'd walk alone    He'd be reciting stuff    Bad sounding stuff       Icky awful stuff    But when you got to know him    He weren't so bad.    Oooooohhh, Scary Ned.       Oooooohhh, oooooohhh, oooooohhh, Scary Ned       *Spoken*    He's pretty scary,    Scary Ned.    Really Scary,    Scary Ned       Scary,    Hense the name:    Scary Ned       Uh, I saw him yestersday,    said "Hi"    I got scared.    'Cause he's scary Ned