There's someone waiting   in the ballroom   In the ballroom   And they're preparing to   meet with their doom   In the Ballroom   Yah! yah! yah!   There's a body lying in the study   In the study   And it's clothes are   all tattered and bloody   In the study   Yah! yah! yah!   I've got something cooking   in my kitchen   In the kitchen   But you don't want to know   quite what's in the kitchen   Yah! yah! yah!      I look to my friend   and I see in his eyes   I mustn't falter   I mustn't falter   Changing the evidence isn't so wise   The facts don't alter   The facts don't alter   All of this murder   gives me palpitations   Monsters and ghoulies   and manifestations   I can't believe this   is really happening to me   Yah! yah! yah!      And now I turn to Uncle Jo   He rolls the dice 'cos it's his go   He lifts his hand to scratch his chin   'Cos when he plays, he plays to win      Now lets turn to cousin Sarah   I pull a face to try and scare her   To Uncle Jo she show her cards   He says p**s off! Let's play charades      And now I see across the table   The grinning face of Aunty Mable   I look at her my knees go weak   Her mouth atremble   She starts to speak   It was Miss Scarlet   In the ballroom   And she was using   (what was she using?)   She was using      The La la la la la   La la la la   Lead piping   It was the   la la la la la la   La la la la la   Lead piping