Ok   Check it...      We got a little old lady with a poodle on a leashe   And she's trying to get across the street   She's walking 'round all crooked-like   And she's looking pretty feeble and petite   I'm kinda thinking that the thing to do here   Is that whole good samaratan shtick   But I know what she's up to though   I'm not falling for THAT OLD TRICK!      Cause things aren't always what they seem   In this mixed up world of ours   And you know that little lady   Is actually an alien assasin from Mars      She's trying to use my altruistic nature   To get me in her clutch   Well guess what, you're on your own there Granny   Look out for that Greyhound Bus!      Everybody's trying to kill me   It's me against everybody else   I'm obviously important enough   To be the target of a top secret government snuff   I can't trust anybody else, can't you see?   It's everybody versus me      For instance...      There's this guy who lives across the street   Who everybody seems to trust   He goes to work, he pays his dues   He looks innocent enough   But as he's out giving food to the poor   And raising money for the children's choir   I'll be teaching his kids to swear   And setting his HOUSE ON FIRE!      Cause it's so apparant   He's a mind-controlling demon   And if he thinks I'm his marionette   Well he's obviously dreaming      It takes a certian intuitive nature   To see how all this works   The doctors call it a "chemical imbalance"   WHAT A BUNCH OF JERKS!      Everybody's trying to kill me   I fight this war all by myself   There's evil members of an alien race   Who are constantly invading our interplanetary space   If you're not with me   You're against me can't you see?   It's everybody versus me      Whoa, I'm listening to the voices here   Whoa, I gotta concentate so I can hear   I said I'm listening to the voices   And they're telling me to dissappear   Oh yeah   I said the voices keep telling me I gotta get outta here      There's these people I've been living with   For quite a big old while   They keep showing me these doctored pics   Of them walking down the aisle   And they keep on trying to make me   Call them Mom and Dad   I let them think they've got me fooled   It's really kind of sad      Cause they think that I don't know   That the KGB is creeping   Right around the corner   Then they'll kill me while I'm sleeping      But I've got it all under control   Using sophisticated techniques   Think it's easy?   You try staying up for 14 SOLID WEEKS!   HA HA HA      Everybody's trying to kill me   You couldn't possibly understand   The other day I got an insect bite   That looks awfully suspicious   Under ultraviolet light   If I don't make it tell my story   Make them see...   It's everybody versus me      Whoa   It's everybody versus me   It's everybody versus me   It's everybody versus me   It's everybody versus me   It's everybody...