One last vein to poke made it too dark to see this   Scenery slips then line up to go in the ground and leave us   So repeat this till I'm sick and I won't feed this   To my little girl who kept me in this world to beat this   As a little kid taught to follow Jesus   Get to the front of the line I'm bein' lead by elitists   So when I speak words that I don't mean   It's like I'm only in a cloud to wonder what serene is   Unable to wake and delete the reasons   Or be the same bed I made up to sleep with demons   Whether sick sane of a pattern repeated   If I spit pain I knew how to relieve it   If at sixteen I had started to treat it   Till my shit change whether or not I would need it   To trace back to the face before the fetus   If the departure was wrong from the gate then she is      Trigger finger itch   The son of a snitch   I'm the rat's favorite son   Last to pal and cut   Slit to bleed the rust   By the last heart I've won   We roll under covers waiting   I've tied off a limb debating   If all of the names forsaken   Spell out what I'm takin'   Watching the skin pop      I would do anything to   Tell you why I've been late to   Fix up my head and escape to   Where I can rest my eyes      The sun says wake up with a beam in my eyes   Clutchin' the bed like she's still by my side part of me died   Even when I prescribed still just to be ostracized   'Cuz she don't really know if she wants to ride or drive   While no nooses long enough to hang my excuses   Whether I'm dead, gun to my head, or reclusive   The end is close almost no need for money   Yet when I wished for death nobody took my life from me   If I cannot see what's right in front of me   And the lights on there still wouldn't be enough to leave   I fixed me when I broke the aggression   But I'm still attracted to my beautiful depression   If I felt emotions I learned to suppress 'em   Till I'm ready to sleep I'll have found a place to rest then   No thanks to angst I learned my lesson   And can erase the face that can't answer the questions      Trigger finger itch the son of a snitch   I'm the rat's favorite son   And by the time I'm back   That heart that beats so black   Let it shine like his gun   We roll under covers waiting   I've tied off a limb debating   If all of the names forsaken   Spell out what I'm taking   Watching the skin pop