i am dying inside and there is nothing i can do    but what does it matter when there's nothing left to lose    i'm still falling apart like i've always done before    the pain is almost numbing and i'll always beg for more    tried so hard to make believe i was something more    tried so many times to start from where i stopped    but that time has vanished and left me alone to dwell       on all the damage i never left behind    all the things i've ruined and pushed aside    all the times i've lost and will never have again    all the things i'm not but could have been       i am drowning in the past and there is no one to save me    i tried so hard to make it work but the world went on without me    now i stare through the window like a soul without a home    i loathe the way i feel and i hate what i've become    tried so hard to make believe i was something more    tried so many times to start from where i stopped    but that time has vanished and left me alone to dwell    on all the damage i never left behind       all the things i've ruined and pushed aside    all the times i've lost and will never have again    all the things i'm not but could have been    through all the pain i never meant to cause    all the lives i've destroyed and crushed    all the time i have lost and will never live again