The Stress Of Becoming A Dad

By: Kadence Buchanan

One of my early childhood memories is the description my mother's best friend and my father's cousin revealed regarding my father's reaction when I was born. Sharing a very close relationship with my father and him being among the kindest and toughest people I have encountered (a unique combination I must admit) I was shocked to hear that the day his first child was born he felt that his life has changed forever. In fact, my father is not the only man that experienced post-birth stress. Millions of fathers have experienced the feeling my father had when my mother's best friend entered the room to announce that he was the proud father of a healthy daughter. At the moment the exciting news were revealed my father turned towards the window of the clinic were my mother has just given birth to me and replied with a calm voice "Now nothing will ever be the same."

Stress can be caused from a variety of factors and most frequently these have to do with work-related issues and family or economic problems. But carrying your first child back home from the hospital and realizing that you are now responsible for another human being's life, can be a tremendous shock men are not always capable of handling.

My father, like million other soon-to-be-parents, felt that his life-the life he has been experiencing up until that moment-was about to change dramatically and he was the only one of the responsible parties for this newborn baby that kept him awake during the night because of the crying. But, as days and months passed by, my father changed his views and saw that having a baby in the house was an amazing experience he now wants me to have at some point in my life.

Although he claims that he immediately realized the burden he had to carry for the rest of his life, he does not remember being stressed or annoyed. Even when his cousin teases him for his not so exciting reaction that day, he still supports that the only reason he was not jumping up and down from joy was the fact that he was awake all night waiting for my mother to deliver their baby into this world.

After having discussed with friends how it feels to ‘suddenly' become a father, since many of my friends that are couples are about to get married or have already given birth to their first child, I realized that becoming a parent is as stressful for a man as it is for a woman. Although the experience is totally different, men are extremely sensitive to such life-changing news, not because they will loose their freedom or peace, but mainly because they feel responsible probably for the first time in their lives. While women are usually ‘trained' to take care of others, men-especially in my home country-possess a certain independence which they do not wish to loose for the sake of anybody. Thus, deciding to become a parent and be the ‘responsible' or ‘wise' member of the family, is usually a huge shock that takes men by surprise and leaves them breathless when they gaze their child's eyes for the first time.

Top Searches on
Parenting
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 
 • 

» More on Parenting