Beside knowing what to do, it is also extremely important to know what not to do because doing them can reduce your chance of getting your ex back. In this article, we will focus on what you should do.
Question:
How to get my ex girlfriend back? We have been together for four and a half years but she has just broken up with me and I am really at a loss of what I should do next. I really love her. Please advice.
Answer:
It really depends on her reaction. Does she want to be contacted by you? If she is trying to avoid you like a plague? If that is the case, what you should do now is to leave her alone for the time being.
Don't try to contact her too many times. Doing so will give her the impression that you are needy and desperate. You don't want her to have this kind of impression on you. Furthermore, if you push her too hard, she might try to cut off all contacts with you. This can make the task of getting your ex girlfriend back even more difficult.
What you can do is to just contact her once. This is best done through an email, a letter or even a text message. I believe it will not be wise to meet up face to face since you have just broken up.
In the letter, just tell her that you respect her decision for the break up. There is a reason behind this but it is beyond the scope of this article to discuss about it.
Next, you will want to tell her that you understand that both of you should take some time to cool down and think about things. Therefore, it is better not to meet up so soon. One month should be a good time period.
Tell her that both of you can meet up for a cup of coffee after that. Most likely, if you do that, she will have a more positive response since she know that you will leave her alone for at least one month.
During this one month, you will have sufficient time to think about what you can do to help you in getting back your ex.
It is very common that when a break up just happened, a number of people will want to try to salvage the relationship. However, before doing that, it is really important to take control of your own emotion. While it is not easy to do that, it is critical as it will determine whether you will make the right decision.
The first few days after the break up is usually the most emotionally trying period. Therefore, it is very important that during these few days, try to find something to distract you. Here is a few things that you may want to try out to get your emotion under control.
1)Do you have a good buddy, or anyone that you trust? Talk to him or her. Just by pouring yourself in front of one person can make you feel so much better and so much more in control. There is no need to share your woes with too many people.
Perhaps, it may be a bit more difficult for men to talk about their problems. If you do not want to take face to face, you can also consider joining forums or message board on the internet. Usually, there are people there who had suffered the same problem as you before. They will be happy to give you advice.
2)Do you like sports? Any sports can help you to relieve your tension. You can choose sports that you can do by yourself or you can drag a few friends along.
3)Realize that you are not alone in this situation. Sometimes, just this realization alone can make you feel much better. Perhaps, it is normal for people to think they are the only one with this problem.
After getting your emotional state under control, your mind should be much clearer now. Now is the time to ask yourself this question, "Should I get back together with my ex?" Think very carefully, Don't lie to yourself. Is reconciliation the best outcome for both of you? Or is it better to break up?
If you still think you want to try and salvage your relationship, you should still give yourself and your partner some more time to cool down before you approach her again, say 2 weeks to 1 month. By then, both of you will be in a better position to talk to each other calmly. This will increase your chances of having a reconciliation.
Allan Lim has sinced written about articles on various topics from Get Ex Back, Get Ex Back and My Ex. http://www.howtosaverelationship.com/getexback.htmYou will also learn what to do if you have already done the things that should not be done.. Allan Lim's top article generates over 201000 views. Bookmark Allan Lim to your Favourites.