While talking with a friend, I found out that he had recently broken up with his girlfriend. He was very sad about it, but he said something that almost slipped by me. He said the worst thing was that he would now be alone on Valentine's Day. At the moment we were talking, I just expressed my sorrow over the breakup and ignored the comment about Valentine's Day. We chatted for awhile and then went our separate ways.
By the time I got home, I realized I was furious at myself and at Valentine's Day. This man has great friends and a very loving family. Yet, on Valentine's Day he planned to be alone. Why? He didn't have a girlfriend.
It made me angry that he would be alone just because he's single. Personally, I think Valentine's Day discriminates against singles! The majority of the marketing blitz for it emphasizes being in a love relationship with a partner. The message is that if you're single, then you might as well forget Valentine's Day.
Wait a minute. What's wrong with being single? Think about it. I've thought about it and it makes me wish I could repeat that conversation with my friend. If I could, here's what I might have suggested to him:
WRITE YOURSELF A VALENTINE.
Buy or make a valentine. Inside it write things you like about yourself and what makes you special. But don't stop there, take the next step and mail this valentine to yourself. If Valentine's Day is about love, then why not express the love you have for who you are and the person you've become. This is something you can do by yourself and for yourself.
SEND FLOWERS TO YOURSELF
Okay, I know some of you are thinking that this is a selfish thing to do. But if you enjoy flowers, why shouldn't you give them to yourself? Let them remind you of what you have accomplished or what you plan to accomplish in this coming year. If not flowers, then send yourself a different gift as a reminder that you ARE loved.
CELEBRATE VALENTINE'S DAY WITH FAMILY OR FRIENDS.
What's so important about having a partner, when you have supportive family members and/or friends who love you? Get together with the people who are important to you. Consider hosting a special meal or some other event. Whatever gathering you plan, take time to tell each person why they are special to you. And then they can tell you something special about yourself. That's sharing love.
DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD.
Think about what would make you feel good on Valentine's Day. You might take your dog for a nice run in the park, surprise a lonely neighbor with a valentine, fix a favorite dinner and eat by candlelight or get in touch with an old friend. Doing something good for yourself or someone else is a wonderful expression of love and a great way to celebrate Valentine's Day.
I missed my opportunity with my friend, but I get a second chance with those of you reading this article. Don't dread Valentine's Day if you're single. Remember that love is more than just being a couple. Sure it's nice to be with someone special, but if you're not, it doesn't mean you don't have loving relationships.
This Valentine's Day pay tribute to love. Celebrate the love of whomever gives you support; a family member, the friend who's always been there for you, or even your pets!
Valentine's Day, though, is not about lovers; it's about love. It has become commercialized for lovers, but it's really a time to connect with people you care about. In the midst of the hearts and flowers that have become associated with this day, the origin of the holiday is lost.
In fact, there is no agreed upon origin. There are numerous stories about the man Valentine and the holiday of love. They range from Roman days to honor the god Lupercus, to Emperor Claudius forbidding marriage, to Pope Gelasium turning a pagan game of romance into a game about saints.
You can choose which version of the origin of the holiday you prefer, in the same way you can choose how to relate to Valentine's Day. It can be a day of shame because you do not love and are not loved by a special person, or you can honor this day by acknowledging those people who make your life better. Valentine's Day is not about lovers, it's about love.
Here are some tips for how to make this a special day.
1. Send cards to everyone you love, male and female, young and old. Not only will the recipients feel cherished, you will be reminded how blessed you are to have so many special people in your life. For a fun flashback to your school days, buy a pack of the colorful cards you used to pass out to classmates, or make them yourself.
2. Honor the service people who make your life better. Give cards to people in your everyday life, showing how much you appreciate them. It might be the person who cuts your hair or cleans your home. It might be the bank teller who helps when your checkbook gets out of balance. You don't have to wait for Christmas to let your mailperson know you appreciate the effort made to bring you 30 mail order catalogues a day. Think about the people who make your life easier; this is the day to remind yourself (and them) that you don't take them for granted.
3. Spend it with friends. Specifically choose February 14 to spend with people you appreciate but don't tell often enough. Take a favorite co-worker or office assistant to lunch. Or have a Valentine's dinner party for good friends.
4. Send flowers to yourself. Rather than mope or feel sorry for yourself that there is no man in your life to send you flowers, send them to yourself. Flowers are the love letters from Mother Nature.
5. Monitor your music. If you are likely to have a hard time on February 14, make sure for the few days leading up to the 14th you aren't listening to love songs or songs about longing for love or about brokenhearted love.
6. Don't hide. Don't pretend it isn't Valentine's Day. Say Happy Valentine's Day to everyone you see. Wear a pin with hearts or at least wear red and white.
7. If you are blue, don't fight it. Give yourself permission to be sad there isn't a loving man in your life. Give yourself an hour, even two, for your ?Pity Party.? Then stop. Move on. Be careful you don't drown your unhappiness in excessive alcohol, drugs, or food. There is no reason to be self-abusive just because you are alone and sad.
Both Sara Healy & Dr. Karen Gail Lewis are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Sara Healy has sinced written about articles on various topics from Self Confidence, Health Insurance and self improvement and motivation. Sara Healy is a life coach who helps people with life and career transitions using their strengths and values. She is passionate about helping men and women create lives that fit who they are and what they believe in. She works best with creative clients. Sara Healy's top article generates over 1300 views. Bookmark Sara Healy to your Favourites.
Dr. Karen Gail Lewis has sinced written about articles on various topics from Massage, self improvement and motivation. Dr. Karen Gail Lewis is founder of Unique Retreats for Single Women. She's a marriage/family therapist and author of several books about single and married women. Join her for a FREE teleseminar on Unspoken Truths About Being Single in a Married World. Re. Dr. Karen Gail Lewis's top article generates over 9900 views. Bookmark Dr. Karen Gail Lewis to your Favourites.