The it's called break up pain is because it hurts. Duh. Heartbreak may be just a figure of speech, but it sure doesn't feel like it. Dealing with break up pain, any way that you look at it, is not an easy or enjoyable task. Carrying a torch for someone after a love affair is a lot like grieving. It is a process.

You can listen to your heart or you can listen to your mind. Your heart will scream at you that you will never again be happy, that your life is over, that this break up means you are worthless, yada, yada, yada. But not your mind. Your mind is logical and you can think through the pain, and you know eventually you will be okay. It's just going to take time.

Going through a break up causes all kinds of feelings to manifest themselves. It is a very important time to talk things out with a trusted friend or family member. Talking is a natural release of feelings that is healthy. Not releasing feelings through talking causes them to grow and build.

Don't try to go it alone. Make certain you talk to someone you trust soon after the break up. Let your feelings go, and express them to your friend. If you wait months or years to do this, or never do it, you will have a very difficult time leading a constructive life.

Another benefit of talking it out, is you will find you are not the first person, nor will you be the last, that has suffered the feelings you feel. There is a healing quality when two friends share stories of their similar experiences -- be they strengths OR weaknesses. It is bonding and cathartic.

Another benefit of talking things out with a friend, is it helps heal the break up pain. Instead of dwelling on it, you will learn how to move on. This healing process may actually help you to position yourself to find someone new. Maybe even someone that you will be happier with.

* Spend time with your friends and let them help you get your mind off your heartbreak.

* Be grateful. Appreciate the good things in your life, and dwell on your good qualities. Don't constantly fill yourself with heartache and negative thoughts.

It will be obvious to your friends that you are going through break up pain. They will no doubt try to help you. Let them. Don't blow them off, or feel they invading your privacy. Friends stick together through painful times.

You are not the first person to suffer break up pain. Rather than giving into the pain and wallowing in self pity, allow yourself a brief period of mourning, and then get on with your life. Enjoy the good things in your life, appreciate your friends, and realize this is not the end of the world. You can survive break up pain and love again!