There are songs that glorify women's big behinds and undoubtedly there are men who love, really LOVE a big butt on a woman. There are even cultures in our world who not only make women stuff fabric and pillows into their dresses to appear rounder, there now are plastic surgeons who give us permanent butt implants.

If you're one of the lucky ones to have a big apple butt and your man is all giddy about it, you've hit the jack pot. One of JLo's favorite body part is her rear asset and she makes sure that her trainer gives her exercises that keep it that way. So one can look at all this as a big plus, an added benefit so to speak, but what if you're overweight and it just is too big indeed and your man is turned off by it?

If you're man is not happy about your weight gain and it shows especially in those areas that are considered "high feminine" area such as our curvy waste lines, butt and chest area, what can you do? Is your g-string still visible when you give a performance or is the skimpy fabric covered over by the excess sausages around your waist? You're okay as long as you can still see your underwear and so can your partner, but it may be time to giddy up and do something if finding your underwear requires a treasure map to find it and dig it up.

Seriously now, no matter what "they" think of us when we are in our birthday suit, it really matters what WE think of ourselves. Because depending on how we feel about ourselves is what determines how free we behave in the bedroom. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and since we are our own beholders every time we look in the mirror, and since our thoughts are creating the person we are moment to moment, it is crucial to be confident with who we are and what we look like, all the time.

The other challenge is that the other person's facial expressions change as soon as they see us naked. His face either reflects pleasure and turn-on (besides many other drool-causing emotions) or disappointment and let-down. We then pick up his facial expressions, which is information we use to formulate how we want to react and feel about what just happened on that man's face when he saw you naked.

Billions are spent in staying youthful and even more billions are spent in chemical research on how to prolong beauty; our internal qualities that make us who we are cannot be bought and no cream or pill will change the fabric of our soul. What we can focus on right now are the qualities of our souls, because those are enduring and here to stay.

The following tips may help in strengthening the powerhouse of a woman you already are:

1.No matter how unattractive you feel because of your weight, do nice things for yourself first because those things help you start feeling better about yourself. 2.Start wearing matching underwear and bra, even if no one will see it, you will know it. 3.Light a candle for yourself when you eat (by yourself) or when you take a bubble bath or just read a book. 4.Get a pedicure even if it's winter time and no one can see it. You see it every day and that's all that matters. 5.Let go of feelings of jealousy about skinnier women and be at peace and know that nothing can take your divine place and no one can steal your man from you if he's truly your man.

Nothing can be stolen from you if it is meant to be yours, so the need for to be jealous of another woman is a complete waste of energy. Provided you have married the right partner you have absolutely no competition, no matter what other women look like. Your loved one will have eyes for you only, and he thinks the world of you no matter what you look like. He may hurt not because you're overweight, but he may feel your pain of being unhappy with yourself. And how unfair it would be for us to expect him to care for us if we don't even care for ourselves. The only thing he wants to see is a peaceful woman who is confident inside and out.

PS: If that does not describe your partner and he indeed threatens you with "lose the weight or I'm out" then he's doing you an amazing favor in the long run. Let him go in peace so he can chase after the outside beauty while you get yourself ready for the man you truly deserve!