Strikes the bell for 5 o'clock, Uncle Arthur closes shop    Screws the tops on all the bottles, turns the lights out, locks it up    Climbs across his bike and he's away    Cycles past the gasworks, past the river, down the high street    Back to mother, it's another empty day       Uncle Arthur likes his mommy    Uncle Arthur still reads comics    Uncle Arthur follows Batman       Round and round the rumours fly, how he ran away from Mum    On his 32nd birthday, told her that he'd found a chum    Mother cried and raved and yelled and fussed    Arthur left her no illusion, brought the girl round, save confusion    Sally was the real thing, not just lust       Uncle Arthur vanished quickly    Uncle Arthur and his new bride    Uncle Arthur follows Sally       Round and round goes Arthur's head, hasn't eaten well for days    Little Sally may be lovely, but cooking leaves her in a maze    Uncle Arthur packed his bags and fled    Back to mother, all's forgiven, serving in the family shop    He gets his pocket money, he's well fed       Uncle Arthur past the gasworks    Uncle Arthur past the river    Uncle Arthur down the high street    Uncle Arthur follows mother