I'm sittin in my chair watchin the TV   It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see   I just lit some crazy ass shit   That my friend overnight mailed to me      I'm fuckin wasted   It's the best shit I ever tasted   I think they fuckin laced it   Cause I'm so damb lambasted      Well friend came over, so I packed him a pipe   I told him to go easy with this shit but he didn't believe the hype   He sparked three bowls just to show he could take it   Two minutes later he was playin backgammon naked      He's fuckin wasted   It's the best shit he ever tasted   He's lost in fuckin space-ed   Cause he's so wicked wicked wasted      Whoooah...   I spent the last two hours hiding under my bed   Cause I looked in the garbage can   And I think I saw my Uncle Louie's head   I'm fuckin wasted      Well my friend blew a hit into my pet birds face   The bird laughed hysterically and started to moon walk all over the place   He tripped over the toaster wire and fell on his beak   He looked at the two of us and he started to speak      I'm fuckin wasted!   It's the best shit I ever tasted!   My brain's been erased-ed!   I'm fuckin fried!      Now I'm sittin in the bathtub wantin somethin to eat   I wanted a pizza, the bird said pepperoni would be sweet   Delivery guy showed up four hours later, handed me his shoe   I said we ordered a pizza buddy, what the hell's up with you?      I'm fuckin wasted!   It's the best shit I ever fuckin tasted!   Oh, fuckin shit!      I'm way too baked