Please call a doctor, I've been so depressed   That I think that I'm finally breakin'   I can't quite explain, I can't feel any pain   But I know that this time I'm not fakin'      Oh oh, what can it be, oh oh, inside of me      I saw my doctor he said, "Man you look sick"   He said, "I think you better do something quick"   He checked me over and he said I was fit   "What you need is a change, have a shave, find a chick"      Your body functions but your hair's a disgrace   You shouldn't let it hang all over your face   Change your image 'cos you look out of place   Comb your hair, put on weight, try to look up to date      Why don't you put in some permanent waves?   You'll look smooth, you'll look cool, you'll be laughing   You'll get lots of dates, you'll be made, you'll get laid   You'll get out and about, you'll be laughing      Oh oh, you'll be okay, once you get those permanent waves   Do your permanent waves, oh oh permanent waves      I was really up but now I'm down once again   I went out walking and it started to rain   My perm washed out, it just got flushed down the drain   My neurosis returned, I'm a wreck once again      And wait 'til I get back my permanent waves   I'll be cool, I'll be smooth, I'll be laughing   I'll be all the rage in my permanent waves   And I'll start a new craze, I'll be laughing      Oh oh, I'll be okay once I get permanent waves   Oh permanent waves, oh oh permanent waves