Building Solid Relationships Using the Power of Words

By: Zaak Oconan

We may not be aware of it; but the words we utter daily may havedifferent interpretations, even if you think that they mean thesame thing.

Here's an example.

Would you rather have someone tell you that you are "slim," orwould you like to hear that you are "thin?" Being slim has aslightly positive effect because it is attributed to health andfitness.

Rather than saying you have failed, just mention that you havenot yet achieved success. Get the picture? Always try to speakwords in the most positive manner you can think of.

Here's another important advice.

Never compare the negative qualities of one person with another.

A former boss of mine has this to say to me when I made an errorin my previous day job, "James (not real name) is doing a muchbetter job than you are. He's not committing any mistake likeyou do."

That crushed my heart. My boss thought this would motivate me todo better. Nope, it just hurt my feelings and lowered myself-esteem. Of course, I would never make the same mistakeagain after her harsh scolding. I've learned my lesson well. Butshe could have said it nicely.

Experiences arising from discouragement and condemnation willhave a negative effect on the recipient.

Some parents might believe that instilling fear on theirchildren would improve their performance. They would say,"You're always failing. Why can't you be like your brother?You're such a disgrace to this family."

Now that's not the proper way to do it. They should inspire,encourage, and motivate their children; not belittle them evenfurther.

They should tell their children that they have the capacity toachieve great things, if they would only put a little moreeffort. Teach them values that would make them feel importantand loved.

You may even go as far as giving them qualities that they do notyet possess. By giving them confidence and by making thembelieve that they have such characteristics, they willeventually acquire such traits. Tell them how bright you thinkthey are, and you will soon be surprised at the results. Theywill significantly improve if you firmly made them believe thatthey have the capacity to do so.

So if you ever wanted to persuade or encourage someone to dobetter, make sure that he or she is motivated out ofinspiration, and not out of fear. Give advice that cares, andnot offensive words borne out of hatred or anger. Think firstbefore you speak. Many relationships have been ruined by thewrong choice of words. Some people voice out anything that comesto their mind, without first filtering the good words from thebad ones. This might result in misunderstandings and arguments,which could have easily been prevented if we speak out in a waythat is neutral and non-offensive. Words are very powerfulindeed. Use them responsibly for the benefit of al

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